What a treasure of a story, simply phenomenal! You have illuminated something very dark and warped in the human psyche, one that I am not exactly sure how to name. A sort of twisted covetousness, I suppose.
I'm reminded of an old Far Side cartoon. A caveman watches a bird soaring overhead. He flaps his arms in a desperate attempt to take flight, but fails. Once he realizes he cannot fly, he crafts a bow, shoots the bird out of the sky, and walks away with a satisfied smile on his face. Not exactly the same ugliness your story unveiled, but it comes from the same foul vein running through human nature.
The perspective was also a great choice; it created an immediate sense of intimacy and urgency.
What a treasure of a story, simply phenomenal! You have illuminated something very dark and warped in the human psyche, one that I am not exactly sure how to name. A sort of twisted covetousness, I suppose.
I'm reminded of an old Far Side cartoon. A caveman watches a bird soaring overhead. He flaps his arms in a desperate attempt to take flight, but fails. Once he realizes he cannot fly, he crafts a bow, shoots the bird out of the sky, and walks away with a satisfied smile on his face. Not exactly the same ugliness your story unveiled, but it comes from the same foul vein running through human nature.
The perspective was also a great choice; it created an immediate sense of intimacy and urgency.
I do like how this story has several spots that could be an ending, and keeps going to the logical end.
You should tag this as fiction so people know what they're clicking on. One of my favourites!