What a treasure of a story, simply phenomenal! You have illuminated something very dark and warped in the human psyche, one that I am not exactly sure how to name. A sort of twisted covetousness, I suppose.
I'm reminded of an old Far Side cartoon. A caveman watches a bird soaring overhead. He flaps his arms in a desperate attempt to take flight, but fails. Once he realizes he cannot fly, he crafts a bow, shoots the bird out of the sky, and walks away with a satisfied smile on his face. Not exactly the same ugliness your story unveiled, but it comes from the same foul vein running through human nature.
The perspective was also a great choice; it created an immediate sense of intimacy and urgency.
What a treasure of a story, simply phenomenal! You have illuminated something very dark and warped in the human psyche, one that I am not exactly sure how to name. A sort of twisted covetousness, I suppose.
I'm reminded of an old Far Side cartoon. A caveman watches a bird soaring overhead. He flaps his arms in a desperate attempt to take flight, but fails. Once he realizes he cannot fly, he crafts a bow, shoots the bird out of the sky, and walks away with a satisfied smile on his face. Not exactly the same ugliness your story unveiled, but it comes from the same foul vein running through human nature.
The perspective was also a great choice; it created an immediate sense of intimacy and urgency.
I do like how this story has several spots that could be an ending, and keeps going to the logical end.
One of my favourites!